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Monster Trucks

Paramount's over-priced and long-delayed creature feature recycles scrap parts from classic kid movies to re-imagine what's under the hood of those giant gas guzzlers----Like it sounds, Monster Trucks is a lame kids’ movie reverse-engineered from a worse pun: What if those massive custom 4x4s that kick up dust and crush old cars at heartland truck rallies were really alive? And what if they were powered by giant, gas-guzzling monsters where their motors should be?----Here, the human in question is a hunky, yet awkward high school student named Tripp (Texas-born Lucas Till, who plays Havok in the “X-Men” movies). Looking old enough to be in graduate school, “teenage” Tripp lives with his single mom (Amy Ryan) and works at a small-town junkyard (for a wheelchair-bound Danny Glover), where he hopes to one day get his run-down Dodge pickup running again. At this point, the old heap is basically just rust and turquoise paint — though that doesn’t keep Tripp from sitting behind the wheel and pretending to drive, making engine noises with his mouth as he fake-swerves to avoid imaginary obstacles.---Lately, mom has been dating the local sheriff (Barry Pepper), while Tripp’s deadbeat dad, who walked out on his family years earlier, holds a job with a shady oil and gas company called Terravex. Operating a few miles outside town, Terravex is sitting on what could be the largest oil reserve in the continental United States. There’s just one problem: Between the company’s state-of-the-art drilling operation and all that sweet crude is an entire ecosystem — an elaborate network of underground lakes and caves — that has been undisturbed for thousands, if not millions of years. Oh, and there’s something living down there.-----Terravex's eco-ambivalent boss (Rob Lowe, looking especially waxy) has ordered his team to tap into their claim, releasing three giant CG “monsters” from the depths. In a horror movie, these potentially menacing creatures, with their long squid-like tentacles and rows of shark-like teeth, would proceed to teach mankind a lesson about the dangers of corporate greed. But “Monster Trucks” was made for babies, and so these beasties turn out to be glorified pets with an appetite for oil and the ability to operate engine-less fossil-fuel-burning vehicles — like the pickup Tripp happens to have handy.

07/01/2017 0 Comments Animation 332 Views

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